Helping Families and Friends Honour Their Loved One

Community Resources

It is amazing how people come together at the time of a death. Many local businesses and organizations make themselves available to families during their time of need. We will continue to grow the list and make you aware of these businesses and organizations that open their arms to those in a time when a death occurs within the community.

Country Creations of Mount Forest
125 Queen Street E. Mount Forest ON N0G 2L0
Phone: (519) 323-9981
Alternate Phone: 1-866-899-0399

Mount Forest Greenhouses
460 Durham St. E, Mount Forest ON N0G 2L2
Phone: (519) 323-1400

For Wills and Estate settlements we have listed the finest Lawyers that Mount Forest has to offer. Listed below are the names of Lawyers we highly recommend that specialize in Wills and Estate settlements.

Deverell & Lemaich LLP
166 Main Street South Mount Forest ON N0G 2L0
Phone: (519) 323-1600
Fax: (519) 323-3877

Fallis, Fallis & McMillan LLP
150 Main Street South Mount Forest ON N0G 2L0
Phone: (519) 323-2800

At a cemetery, lives are commemorated, deaths are recorded, families are reunited, memories are made tangible and love is undisguised. Communities accord respect, families bestow reverence, historians seek information and our heritage is thereby enriched.
Testimonies of devotion, pride and remembrance are carved in stone to pay warm tribute to accomplishments and to the life – not death – of a loved one. The cemetery is homeland for family memorials that are a sustaining source of comfort to the living.
A cemetery is a history of people; a perpetual record of yesterday and a sanctuary of peace and quiet today. A cemetery exists because every life is worth remembering – always.

As a convenience we have included a listing of many of the local cemeteries in our area. A growing number of cemeteries are beginning to publish their own web sites to allow visitors to learn more about their services, fees and applicable bylaws.

Mount Forest Cemetery
Sligo Road East Mount Forest
Phone: (519)848-3620
Contact: Township of Wellington North

Holy Cross Cemetery
Lover’s Lane Mount Forest ON

Sacred Heart Cemetery
Kenilworth

Cochrane Cemetery
Greenfield Cemetery
Holstein Cemetery
Woodland Cemetery

Below you will find a listing of local monument companies in our area. Visit their web site to learn more about their products, pricing and services listings.

Mount Forest Memorials
RR #1 Mount Forest N0G 2L0
Phone: (519) 323-2237

Helpful Guidance

Every attempt has been made to make the Resource Centre intuitive and user friendly. Daily updates provide the information you need. Select the relevant area that you are seeking information on, click on that topic and you will be served a list of expanded topic selections.

If you cannot find the information you are looking for, feel free to use the e-mail feature or call us direct. We would be happy to answer any questions you may have and include the information on the site for future reference.

Funeral Etiquette

Even though common sense and good discretion are always the best guides to proper funeral etiquette, a few principles still apply.

It is a common gesture for close friends of the bereaving family to visit the family’s home to offer sympathy and assistance – this is sometimes referred to as a condolence visit. With the bereaving family having to ensure that all the arrangements are looked after, a close friend(s) may become very helpful with food preparation and childcare. The visit can take place any time within the first few weeks of death, and may be followed with one or more additional visits, depending on the circumstances and your relationship with the family.

In addition to expressing sympathy it is appropriate, if desired, to relate to family members your fond memories of the deceased. In some cases family members may simply want you to be a good listener to their expressions of grief or memories of the deceased. In most circumstances it is not appropriate to inquire as to the cause of death.

If you attend a wake you should approach the family and express your sympathy. As with the condolence visit it is appropriate to relate your memories of the deceased. If you were only acquainted with the deceased (and not the family) you should introduce yourself.

It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket.

The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion. After visiting with the family and viewing the deceased you can visit with others in attendance. Normally there is a register for visitors to sign.

As with other aspects of modern day society funeral dress codes have relaxed somewhat. Black dress is no longer required. Instead subdued or darker hues should be selected, the more conservative the better. After the funeral the family often receives invited visitors to their home for pleasant conversation and refreshments.

You can send flowers to the funeral home prior to the funeral, or to the family residence at any time. In some cases flowers may also be sent to Protestant churches. (Flowers generally are not sent to Jewish synagogues and Catholic churches.) Florists know what is appropriate to send in the funeral context.

Gifts in memory of the deceased are often made, particularly when the family has requested gifts in lieu of flowers. The family is notified of the gifts by personal note from the donor or through the donee, if the donee is a charity or other organization. In the latter case the donor provides the family’s name and address to the charity at the time the gift is made.

Even if you don’t make a gift, a note or card to the deceased’s family expressing your thoughts of the deceased is a welcome gesture, especially if you weren’t able to attend the funeral.

FUNERAL ETIQUETTE
The funeral is a ceremony of proven worth and value for those who mourn. It provides an opportunity for the survivors and others who share in the loss to express their love, respect, grief and appreciation for a life that has been lived. It permits facing openly and realistically the crisis the death presents. Through the funeral the bereaved take that first step toward emotional adjustment to their loss. This information has been prepared as a convenient reference for modern funeral practices and customs.

THE FUNERAL SERVICE
The family specifies the type of service conducted for the deceased. Funeral directors are trained to assist families in arranging whatever type of service they desire. The service held either at a place of worship or at the funeral home with the deceased present, varies in ritual according to denomination. The presence of friends at this time is an acknowledgement of friendship and support. It is helpful to friends and the community to have an obituary notice published announcing the death and type of service to be held.

PRIVATE SERVICE…
This service is by invitation only and may be held at a place of worship, a funeral home or a family home. Usually, selected relatives and a few close friends attend the funeral service. Often public visitation is held, condolences are sent, and the body is viewed.

MEMORIAL SERVICE…
A memorial service is a service without the body present and can vary in ceremony and procedures according to the community and religious affiliations. Some families prefer public visitations followed by a private or graveside service with a memorial service later at the church or funeral home.

PALLBEARERS…
Friends, relatives, church members or business associates may be asked to serve as pallbearers. The funeral director will secure pallbearers if requested to do so by the family.

HONORARY PALLBEARERS…
When the deceased has been active in political, business, church or civic circles, it may be appropriate for the family to request close associates of the deceased to serve as honorary pallbearers. They do not actively carry the casket.

EULOGY…
A member of the family, clergy, a close personal friend or a business associate of the deceased, may give a eulogy. The eulogy is not to be lengthy, but should offer praise and commendation and reflect the life of the person who has died.

DRESS…
Wearing colorful clothing is no longer inappropriate for relatives and friends. Persons attending a funeral should be dressed in good taste so as to show dignity and respect for the family and the occasion.

FUNERAL PROCESSION / CORTEGE…
When the funeral ceremony and the burial are both held within the local area, friends and relatives might accompany the family to the cemetery. The procession is formed at the funeral home or place of worship. The funeral director can advise you of the traffic regulations and procedures to follow while driving in a funeral procession.

CONDOLENCES
The time of death is a very confusing time for family members. No matter what your means of expressing your sympathy, it is important to clearly identify yourself to the family.

FLOWERS…
Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing sympathy to the family of the deceased. Flowers express a feeling of life and beauty and offer much comfort to the family. A floral tribute can either be sent to the funeral home or the residence. If sent to the residence, usually a planter or a small vase of flowers indicating a person’s continued sympathy for the family is suggested. The florist places an identification card on the floral tribute. At the funeral home the cards are removed from the floral tributes and given to the family so they may acknowledge the tributes sent.

MASS CARDS…
Mass cards can be sent either by Catholic or non-Catholic friends. The offering of prayers is a valued expression of sympathy to a Catholic family. A card indicating that a Mass for the deceased has been arranged may be obtained from any Catholic parish. In some areas it is possible to obtain Mass cards at the funeral home. The Mass offering card or envelope is given to the family as an indication of understanding, faith and compassion. Make sure that your name and address is legible and that you list your postal code. This will make it easier for the family to acknowledge your gift.

MEMORIAL DONATIONS…
A memorial contribution, to a specific cause or charity, can be appreciated as flowers. A large number of memorial funds are available, however the family may have expressed a preference. Memorial donations provide financial support for various projects. If recognized as a charitable institution, some gifts may be deductible for tax purposes. Your funeral director is familiar with them and can explain each option, as well as furnish the donor with “In Memoriam” cards, which are given to the family.

SYMPATHY CARDS…
Sending a card of sympathy, even if you are only an acquaintance, is appropriate. It means so much to the family members to know they are in good thoughts. The card should be in good taste and in keeping with your relationship to the family of the deceased.

PERSONAL NOTE…
A personal note of sympathy is very meaningful. Express yourself openly and sincerely. An expression such as “I’m sorry to learn of your personal loss” is welcomed by the family and can be kept with other messages.

TELEPHONE CALL…
Speaking to a family member gives you an opportunity to offer your services and make them feel you really care. If they wish to discuss their recent loss, don’t hesitate to talk to the person about the deceased. Be a good listener. Sending a telegram expressing your sympathy is also appropriate.

VISITATION…
Your presence at the visitation demonstrates that although someone has died, friends still remain. Your presence is an eloquent statement that you care.

Visitation provides a time and place for friends to offer their expression of sorrow and sympathy, rather than awkwardly approaching the subject at the office, supermarket or social activities. The obituary/death notice will designate the hours of visitation when the family will be present and will also designate the times when special services such as lodge services or prayer services may be held. Persons may call at the funeral home at any time during suggested hours of the day or evening to pay respects, even though the family is not present. Friends and relatives are requested to sign the register book. A person’s full name should be listed e.g. “Mrs. John Doe”. If the person is a business associate, it is proper to list their affiliation, as the family may not be familiar with their relationship to the deceased.

Friends should use their own judgment on how long they should remain at the funeral home or place of visitation. If they feel their presence is needed, they should offer to stay.

When the funeral service is over, the survivors often feel very alone in dealing with their feelings. It is important that they know you are still there. Keep in touch.

SYMPATHY EXPRESSIONS…
When a person calls at the funeral home, clasping hands, an embrace, or a simple statement of condolence can express sympathy, such as:

“I’m sorry.”
“My sympathy to you.”
“It was good to know John.”
“John was a fine person and a friend of mine. He will be missed.”
“My sympathy to your mother.”

The family member in return may say:

“Thanks for coming.”
“John talked about you often.”
“I didn’t realize so many people cared.”
“Come see me when you can.”

Encourage the bereaved to express their feelings and thoughts, but don’t overwhelm them.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS…
The family should acknowledge the flowers and messages sent by relatives and friends. When food and personal services are donated, these thoughtful acts also should be acknowledged, as should the services of the pallbearers. The funeral director may have available printed acknowledgement cards that can be used by the family. When the sender is well known to the family, a short personal note should be written on the acknowledgment card expressing appreciation for a contribution or personal service received. The note can be short, such as:

“Thank you for the beautiful roses. The arrangement was lovely.
“The food you sent was so enjoyed by our family. Your kindness is deeply appreciated.”

In some communities it is a practice to insert a public thank you in the newspaper. The funeral director can assist you with this.

CHILDREN AT FUNERALS
At a very early age, children have an awareness of and a response to death. Children should be given the option to attend visitation and the funeral service. The funeral director can advise you on how to assist children at the time of a funeral and can provide you with additional information and literature.

GRIEF RECOVERY
It is healthy to recognize death and discuss it realistically with friends and relatives. When a person dies, there is grief that needs to be shared. Expressions of sympathy and the offering of yourself to help others following the funeral are welcomed. It is important that we share our grief with one another. Your local funeral director can help family and friends locate available resources and grief recovery programs in your area.

Writing and delivering a eulogy is a noble gesture that is worthy of thought and effort. It is an opportunity to make a contribution to a memorial service a contribution that your friends and family will remember for a long time.

Writing in general a eulogy, a tribute, a letter, or keeping a journal presents another equally valuable opportunity for you. The ability to use the writing process as a therapeutic tool to help you deal with your grief. The power of writing is undeniable and there is no better time than now for you to discover and take advantage of this.

What A Eulogy Should Accomplish

There are two common misconceptions about the purposes of a eulogy. Some people think: 1) it should be an objective summation of the deceased’s life; or 2) it should speak for everyone who is present at the memorial service. Both of these assumptions are unrealistic.

A eulogy is much more simple. It should convey the feelings and experiences of the person giving the eulogy. The most touching and meaningful eulogies are written from a subjective point of view and from the heart. So don’t feel compelled to write your loved one’s life story. Instead, tell your story.

Clearly, the burden of the eulogy does not have to be yours completely. If you have the time, ask friends or relatives for their recollections and stories. In a eulogy, it is perfectly acceptable to say, for example, “I was talking to Uncle Lenny about Ron; he reminded me of the time Ron came to our Thanksgiving dinner with half of his face clean-shaven and the other half bearded. It was Ron’s funny way of showing that he had mixed feelings about shaving off his beard.”

Honesty is very important. In most cases, there will be a lot of positive qualities to talk about. Once in a while, however, there is someone with more negative traits than positive qualities. If that is the case, remember, you don’t have to say everything. Just be honest about the positive qualities and everyone will appreciate the eulogy.

Remember, you do not have to write a perfect eulogy. Whatever you write and deliver will be appreciated by the people at the funeral. If you are inclined to be a perfectionist, lower your expectations and just do what you can, given the short time frame for preparation and your emotional state.

Tips For Delivering A Eulogy

If you decide to write a eulogy and deliver it, realize that it may be the most difficult speech you will ever make; and it may be the most rewarding. It is important to realize that people are not going to judge you. They will be very supportive. No matter what happens, it will be okay. If you break down in the middle of your speech, everyone will understand. Take a moment to compose your self, and then continue. There is no reason to be embarrassed. Remember, giving a eulogy is a noble gesture that people will appreciate and admire.

If you can, make the eulogy easy to read. On a computer, print out the eulogy in a large type size. If you are using a typewriter, put extra carriage returns between the lines. If you are writing it by hand, print the final version in large letters and give the words room to breath by writing on every second or third line.

Before the service, consider getting a small cup of water. Keep it with you during the service. When you go to the podium to deliver the eulogy, take the water with you in case you need it. Sipping water before you start and during the speech, if needed-will help relax you. If you are nervous before delivering the eulogy, breath deeply and tell yourself that everything will be fine. It will be. Look around at your relatives and friends and realize that they are with you 100 percent. Realize that it is acceptable to read the eulogy without making eye contact with the audience, if that would be easier for you. Take your time. Do the best you can. No one expects you to have the delivery of a great orator or the stage presence of an actor. Just be you.

This section of our web site will deal with an ever-evolving content of funeral and related issues. This area will soon be full text searchable and we hope will contain answers to any and all questions or concerns you might have. We will include a large number of questions that we receive through our “Ask the Director” section located on this site.

We believe that a better understanding of what is involved in the funeral process and the options available, will allow you to make a much more informed decision saving both confusion and compounded grief at the time of a loss.

We have attempted to provide you with helpful guidance on grief issues. We hope that we can provide insight and direction on where to turn. This area is always expanding so please visit back often for the information you seek.

In cooperation with Dr. Bill Webster and The Centre for the Grief Journey, England Funeral Home is pleased to be able to provide you with this grief support link below:
http://www.griefjourney.com/griefsolutions/gj-englandfuneralhome.html

Here you will be able to access videos, articles, newsletters and much more. There is no cost to utilize this service.

The Grieving Process
When we experience a major loss, grief is the normal and natural way our mind and body react. Everyone grieves differently. And at the same time there are common patterns people tend to share.
For example, someone experiencing grief usually moves through a series of emotional stages, such as shock, numbness, guilt, anger and denial. And physical responses are typical also. They can include: sleeplessness, inability to eat or concentrate, lack of energy, and lack of interest in activities previously enjoyed.

Time always plays an important role in the grieving process. As the days, weeks and months go by, the person who is experiencing loss moves through emotional and physical reactions that normally lead toward acceptance, healing and getting on with life as fully as possible.

Sometimes a person can become overwhelmed or bogged down in the grieving process. Serious losses are never easy to deal with, but someone who is having trouble beginning to actively re-engage in life after a few months should consider getting professional help. For example, if continual depression or physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, inability to sleep, or chronic lack of energy persists, it is probably time to see a doctor.

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